


Bonetired

by Straydilettante



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Borderlands 3 early spoiler, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, If this fic spoiled you, Missing Scene, Self-Indulgent, You are too early to be here searching for fics, but friendship is definitely there, maybe Lilith/Tannis if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 01:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21499849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straydilettante/pseuds/Straydilettante
Summary: A spot of comfort in Sanctuary III. Sometimes, the infirmary offers more than just a comfort for physical injuries. Sometimes, it is a nice enough place to grant a reprieve from being watched.Or Lilith needs a break from the events in BL3
Relationships: Lilith (Borderlands) & Patricia Tannis
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Bonetired

**Author's Note:**

> I had been working on this story for far too long. Time to let it go. 
> 
> I apologise if I gotten some details wrong, it is mostly based on a single playthrough of the game!

Keep going.

Some days, she wished that Roland was still alive. It is not like she does not wish for that on other days but on some days, the desire is so strong that she would fight a million vault monsters to accomplish it. Not coincidentally, those days are the same ones that she wishes that she is still out there as Firehawk, a nobody. Not Firehawk, commander of the Crimson Raiders. 

Responsibility is a harsh thing to shoulder and she regrets every bad thought she had of Roland when they broke up. She sighs audibly, moving onto the next set of duty on the list. Time waits for nobody, let alone her. She needs to check with Ellie for supplies and Tannis on their next set of actions. 

Absently, she reached out to that familiar place of power and was stopped short when absence greeted her. Again. She gritted her teeth, this had to be the fourth time today that she did it. How long would it take until she stopped doing it? Her powers were not required for this task, much like it was unnecessary to meet Ellie or Tannis in person. However, she like human contact and it was a good way to exercise her powers. 

Now, it is a good reminder of her loss and the implications that surrounds it. 

She is not blind and it is ridiculous. They have seen her during her during her most vulnerable and chose to deal with it gently. Smothering her with care, too much care. Like they are walking on glass shards around her. It breeds frustration, her powers were not all that defines her. It seems that most of them have forgotten her skill with guns and physical capabilities. Worst of all, her freedom have to be compromised because they are suddenly aware that she is the commander of the Crimson Raiders. That she is capable of dying and should not be out on the field as a result. 

And she can’t fault them.

She is definitely more breakable without the ability to phasewalk. Their concern is not from a place of malice and she has no wish to add to their numerous losses. Yet, during her weakest moments, she could not help but feel like they are doubting her. Which is silly and intellectually nonsensical but it still preys on her. Hanging over every interaction that she have onwards.

Time is slipping by and she purposefully keeps herself busy with it. She does not want to have time. Does not want to stay still and wait for the maw of realisation to swallow her. She rather keep all of those thoughts back and outrun the need to unpack them. 

Almost automatically, her feet follows the long corridor down and took a right. A feeling suffuses her as the bright lights of the infirmary symbol comes into sight. (She refuses to work it out right now.) It twinkles, like it was inviting her in. Her footsteps falter as she approaches the metallic door and she wisely stay outside of the detection range. 

The silence is a tad too unwelcoming right now and she knows Tannis is able to fill it. (Sometimes, she wonders if she is too much of a burden for doing so. Tannis does not like company but always seem to make an exception for her.) Shyly, she approaches the door, half-expecting it to not open. Tannis is known to occasionally take breaks from the need of human contact. That was the reason for a smaller bed and curtains across the infirmary. She exhales as the door opens and strides forward evenly. 

Her back muscles loosens as Tannis turns to greet her with a “Lilith.” Waiting patiently, she does a look over Tannis, picking up the signs that Tannis pull an all-nighter once again. (The messier hairdo, unkempt and wrinkled shirt, less wary attitude and very orderly beds.) Favoring her with a gentle smile, Tannis reaches over to a nearby table and pick up an ECHO device. 

There is a reason that she prefers Tannis’ room over the others. Tannis is safe, she does not have to worry about questions over the talk that they hold. Another plus is that none of the inhabitants of the ship tend to wander over. Tannis prefers a clean environment and that extends to visitors and people. Sometimes, she thinks that making Tannis the infirmarian is the reason that injuries are at an all-time low. (Until the masses realizes that Tannis would never turn away a person in medical need.)

As Tannis voice filled the silence, Lilith moves to the attached room and takes a seat on the gurney furthest away from the door. With the privacy screen protecting her from outside view, she releases a deep breath. Relief accompanies her as she loosen the bands around her shoes absently and remove them. Setting them aside gently at the corner, she drew her legs closer and curls inward. The warm feeling of safety folds upon her as she rests her head on crossed arms. She will go back to being the commander after this short rest.

Just give her five minutes.

* * *

“Lilith? Are you faring well?” Tannis asks, wringing her hands as she stood in front of her friend. She noticed that Lilith’s energy levels have been rather low lately and wondered if it could be attributed to her loss of siren powers. (What would she not give to be able to obtain any sample, especially blood. But she must remind herself, not everyone is receptive to such methods and consent is important.) 

Lilith lifts her head slowly and blinks twice in succession. “Sorry, I drifted. What was that about the vibe?”

Eyebrows furrowed, Tannis nonetheless replied, “The vibe was about two coversations back. The current one is the weird electronic interactions that I have noticed.”

Nodding her head jerkily, Lilith looked like she could barely keep her eyes open. She looks small and a part of Tannis worries. (If the mightiest amongst them is fallible, how can the rest carry on?)

Tannis ought to know better. Ever since Sanctuary III has been launched, she has come to find that Lilith often visits this spot. Sure, it is due to many psychological reasons, least of which that all sightlines except for one is blocked. That is probably one of the best things that it can offer, to someone who has to be publicly seen at all times. Or felt like she has to be seen often. (They were both aware that Lilith was definitely the face of this project no matter how much she argues about it.)

When she first received news about the run-in with those Calypso twins, she brushed it off, knowing that Lilith could handle herself. After all, she has dealt with enemies that were far worse than a set of twins. But all she could do was to look on as the twins sought to humiliate her. (The coincidence that it was the start of this habit was not lost on her.) 

“Lilith, if you need help. I want you to know that I’m here. To help. That is. I mean, you definitely know where to find me. It is a small ship after all.” Tannis rambled, the desire to have Lilith know these words beating out her discomfort.

Propping her head on her arms, Lilith stares forward with a blank look. 

“I’m fine.”

Tannis frowned and she steeled herself. She wonders if it is better to accept Lilith’s words and ignore the signs, like the previous few times. But she has tried to give Lilith the space that she desired and it has gotten pretty obvious that the new vault hunter has been here a few times to express their concern.

“You don’t look fine.” She says dryly.

“I’m fine.”

“It is fine to be otherwise, you know that right? No one here believes that you are a robot and untouched about anything else that had happened.”

“I’m alright, I’m fine.” She repeats. 

Yet Tannis could see otherwise. If Lilith was not sitting in front of her, the words and tone read like a script, something that barely skirts the line of acceptable. Instead, she could not sit back and ignore this, this cry for help. This is a warning, the calm before the storm. 

It could lead to something much worse. 

As it is, Tannis was not sure what to do. She knew, intellectually, that trusting her first instinct was not the right way. The most natural way, definitely, but she knows that dealing with people is not her forte. (Lilith never minded it.) She squashed her first instinct to point out the dry truth. Instead, opting to wait awkwardly in the silence. 

Patience is not her strongest suit, as it often leads to boredom and that route have a tendency to become something worse. But she will endure much more if that is something that Lilith needs. 

“Why are you still here?” Lilith asks in a quiet but steady voice. 

Tannis flattened her lips before answering, “I’m uncertain of what you are asking.”

Tannis stood cautiously, projecting her intentions before making them. As she moved closer, the same gaze shifted slightly to the pouch by her belt and Lilith elaborates, “Why haven’t you accepted it and left me alone?”

“ I-” Tannis opened her mouth to say something before changing her mind.

“Do you want me to?” She asks, knowing that she would very well leave if the answer is positive. (The last thing she would want is to overstay. It is not something she likes people to do and she would not do the same to others. Instead, she would ask all these questions to check in.)

Silence greeted her question and she shifted her weight, looking for a comfortable pose. She turns around to give Lilith some privacy, yet she cannot stop checking on Lilith surreptitiously. Hopeful that she sees some signs of life slowly seeping in. Hearing a notification sound from one of the many machines that she had running, she moved to handle it.

“It hurts but it isn’t a physical kind.” Lilith begin, words tumbling out, like it has been shut away for far too long. “Those I can endure.”

She shudders and continued, “Being shot at and reconstructed is nothing new. But they can’t reconstruct something that has been taken. I should know, I tried.” 

Tannis made a note that not hovering around seem to be the key. Lilith’s voice sounds as tired as she seems and Tannis starts to fish out some tea bags from her private stash. Upon hearing the reconstruction part, Tannis takes a moment to wonder on it clinically. (Knowing Lilith, she would certainly not be happy about trying it once. She wondered, how many times it took her to accept it.) 

“I should be glad that I can no longer set papers on fire or feel the muggy air of Pandora. But I can’t,” They both ignored the way that her voice trembled. “I miss it and it is killing me that I can’t get it back.”

Lilith gave a humorless laughter and says softly, “Worst of all, my powers may be gone. But the craving stays. And if I give in to it, I will no longer be known as Lilith, the Firehawk. It will just be Lilith, the addict.” 

If it was possible, Tannis knew that Lilith would curl even tighter, retreating into a ball. One where she can protect herself and stay within it. Never unfurling to face reality. 

“And I don’t know what to do.” She exhales noisily, “I am not fine.”

* * *

The bed sank and Lilith felt a warmth on her right. Ignoring it, she hugged her knees closer and hid her face in it. Her cheeks burned in shame at her inability to pull herself together after that flood. She is feeling raw and kinda wrung out. 

It does not help to have the desire. A desire to have someone to tell her that ‘everything will be alright’. It plays a steady beat underneath her skin, not allowing her to forget about it. 

“Lie to me that it will be fine.” She says to the darkness.

A chuckle came from her right and Lilith knows that if she turn, Tannis will be sporting a rueful smile. “You know me, Lilith. I am the wrong person for false platitudes.”

A watery laughter responded to her words before it gets cut off by a soft sniff. Tannis could hear audible grinding and compressed sniffles as Lilith fought to retain her composure. Her palm hovers over Lilith’s shaking shoulders, uncertainty reining her back. She struggles to find the right words but instead, settles for a gentle touch with her fingertips. 

“Is this agreeable?”

The fiery locks bobbed slowly, betraying the lethargy that Lilith is feeling. Without unfurling herself, she scoots backwards, chasing the human contact. A nervous laughter responded and Lilith immediately stopped. Turning to her right, Lilith’s reddened eyes peeked out from her bangs. Noticing that Lilith’s eyes were on her, Tannis refocused and gave a wry smile.

“I’m probably the worst choice for an affectionate gesture.” 

Shaking her head, Lilith offered, “I’m here anyway.”

“Even if I can’t offer a hug like the others?”

“I’m here,” Lilith repeated firmly before continuing with a gentler tone, “at any capacity that you are comfortable in offering.”

A small smile crosses Tannis’ face before a warm hand rested gently on Lilith’s back.

**Author's Note:**

> Am I the only one who wants to give Lilith a hug while playing BL3? I probably shouldn't have expected Gearbox to give me more on-screen character development. 
> 
> That being said, BL3 certainly gave me more of the Lilith and Tannis friendship that I didn't know I wanted.
> 
> ~~One day I'll write a ship fic. Today isn't the day~~


End file.
